Story for the Week
There is a saying that you can’t pick your family. And there is another saying that true friends are the family you choose. Both are true.
I remember watching an episode of The People’s Court years ago…yes, I watched The People’s Court (Confessions of a Reality TV Junkie). The case involved two sisters, and one had filed a lawsuit against the other. Judge Marilyn Milian presided over the court then (and still does).
She was shocked at how bad the relationship was between the sisters, and I still remember to this day what she told them. “Your sisters are the only friends you have from cradle to grave.” That comment prompted me to think back on the relationship I had with my own sister. By that time, my sister and I were in a good place—sisters and friends. But that hadn’t always been the case (“I Can’t Break the Bonds of Sisterhood”). To be honest, it’s still not always the case.😬
That’s the thing about family, though…with a strong foundation, you’ll always come back together. Some breaks may be longer than others, but at the end of the day, in the words of Maren Morris, “If the bones are good, the rest don’t matter.”
The family you choose hits a little different. The family you’re born with shares experiences because you all live in the same house or attend the same holiday dinners. You can’t disown Aunt Myrtle because she’ll still be at the Christmas table.😏
The friendships you choose seek out shared experiences. You pursue activities where you have common interests, you make plans for girls’ or guys’ nights out. If the bond doesn’t continue to strengthen, you go your separate ways…maybe still friends, but not “family.” Friendship families take more work most of the time, but the dividends are priceless.
Not everyone has a solid family foundation. I knew someone in college who had filed for emancipation at 17. You hear tragic stories about people taking the life of a family member. (Most people have heard stories about the Menéndez Brothers, JonBenét Ramsey, and similar stories.) Blood doesn’t always mean happiness and love, rainbows and puppies.
I read a book recently that really exemplifies the idea of the family you choose. It’s not an easy read, sometimes heartbreaking, but it’s definitely worth it.
Book Review
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
5 Stars for The People We Keep by Allison Larkin
368 pages
Publisher: Gallery Books
Publication Date: August 3, 2021
Purchased on Amazon
Publisher’s Description
Little River, New York, 1994: April Sawicki is living in a motorless motorhome that her father won in a poker game. Failing out of school, picking up shifts at a local diner, she’s left fending for herself in a town where she’s never quite felt at home. When she “borrows” her neighbor’s car to perform at an open mic night, she realizes her life could be much bigger than where she came from. After a fight with her dad, April packs her stuff and leaves for good, setting off on a journey to find a life that’s all hers.
Driving without a chosen destination, she stops to rest in Ithaca. Her only plan is to survive, but as she looks for work, she finds a kindred sense of belonging at Cafe Decadence, the local coffee shop. Still, somehow, it doesn’t make sense to her that life could be this easy. The more she falls in love with her friends in Ithaca, the more she can’t shake the feeling that she’ll hurt them the way she’s been hurt. As April moves through the world, meeting people who feel like home, she chronicles her life in the songs she writes and discovers that where she came from doesn’t dictate who she has to be.
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Main Characters:
- April – 16-year-old left by her father to fend for herself, a bit naïve but finds herself having to grow up quickly to make her way in the world
- Margo – dated April’s dad in high school, watched over April after her mother left, owns a diner where April works until she leaves town, really the first constant presence in April’s life
- Carly – runs a diner (and hires April) in Ithaca, NY, where April lands when she leaves Little River, becomes the second constant for April
A friend recommended The People We Keep. I read the description, downloaded it immediately, started it the next day, and lost a lot of sleep over the weekend to finish it. She has taken a number of my book recommendations, so I’m really glad I took hers this time.
April drew the short end of the stick in life…the very short end. Her mother left when she was six. Her father moved in with a girlfriend and her son, leaving April in a motorhome without a motor to fend for herself. At 16, she takes a neighbor’s car to play her guitar at an open mic night, and it is the first time she realizes that she has talent people appreciate.
After a fight with her father, where he slaps her and destroys her guitar, she takes the car again (this time after it’s been given to her father’s girlfriend) and leaves town. Without a destination in mind, she finds herself eventually headed for Ithaca because she doesn’t want to get back on the highway, it’s 41 miles from where she happens to be, and Margo’s boyfriend had complained once about how much he hated it. April feels like it’s fate and that, if Gary hates it, she’ll probably love it.
This is the beginning of our three-year journey with April. When I started the book, I thought she was kind of a bitch…even made a note about it when she talks back to a teacher. Tough exterior aside, April feels everything deeply, and she doesn’t want to hurt anyone she cares about. She runs away…a lot…and the songs she writes tell the story of her life.
She’s naïve, makes bad decisions with worse results, but she is 16 and trying to survive on her own having been deserted by the people who were supposed to look out for her. I never questioned the realism of her decisions. I shook my head quite a few times, but they are completely believable considering her age and lack of upbringing.
This feels a bit like a memoir, even though it’s fiction. It’s heartbreaking to experience how life has beaten April down, but by the end of the book, she learns how meaningful her relationships are with people she meets along the way. When she left home, the only person she cared about was Margo. Everyone else was disposable.
By the time we get to the end of this part of her touching journey, she realizes that there are people “we get to keep.” And I say “this part” because she is only 19 or 20 by the end of this and has a lot of life left to experience and a lot more people to find and to keep.
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