There’s an episode of Friends where the characters talk about the celebrities on their “freebie list.” The idea behind the list, more recently known as a “hall pass,” is a bit controversial. Each partner creates a list of celebrities who they have permission to sleep with just once if the opportunity presents itself. The list is short, but it’s also recognized that the odds of running into the celebrity AND the celebrity being interested are slim.

So back to the Friends episode. Chandler says Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and Jessica Rabbit. Rachel says Chris O’Donnell, John F. Kennedy Jr., Daniel Day Lewis, Sting, and Parker Stevenson. Ross wants to include Isabella Rossellini, but Chandler convinces him that she’s geographically undesirable and that Ross should focus on celebrities who are always in the country.

Ross finalizes his list with Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurley, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Dorothy Hamill. In traditional Ross fashion, he then bumps into Rossellini in the coffee shop, and tells her she’s on his list. When she doesn’t understand, he explains the list, shows her a printed and laminated list (which she is not on), and then tries to convince her that she WAS on his original list. Suffice it to say, Ross doesn’t get the girl.

Dennis and I never talked about hall passes in that sense. I have never had one, not because I didn’t have celebrity crushes but more because I just didn’t care. The odds of the hall pass happening are infinitesimal…maybe even less than infinitesimal if that’s possible. By the time I met my childhood crush Donny Osmond, he was starring in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (which I saw live four times😁), had been married with kids forever, and he was just a childhood crush.

On the flipside, we need to talk about Caroline Corr. The Corrs were a pop band from Ireland and really took off in 2000 when “Breathless” hit the charts. I knew who The Corrs were. Their In Blue album was one of the duplicate CDs Dennis and I both had.

I didn’t meet and marry Dennis until 2002, so he was already enamored with Caroline Corr by the time we started talking. I cannot count the number of times we were on the phone while he was driving, and The Corrs would come on the radio. It did not matter what we were talking about. Even if one of us was mid-sentence, he reacted immediately: “Call you back.” And he would be gone.

The first couple of times, I had no idea what had happened until he called back and told me The Corrs had come on the radio. After a while, I would just shake my head and laugh and answer when he called back. I would tell him I loved him and remind him that he was not all that. His response was always the same: If Caroline Corrs ever looked at him twice, I was toast.

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Book Review

⭐
1 Star for Someone Else’s Fairytale by E.M. Tippetts

302 pages
Publisher: Workhorse Productions
Publication Date: December 14, 2013
Purchased on Amazon

Publisher’s Description

Ordinary Chloe Winters has what every woman wants—the heart of Hollywood’s hottest celebrity Jason Vanderholt. Falling for a hot shot A-lister is the last thing on Chloe’s mind. She has no interest in romance—or his scene, especially the crowd of people who surround him. After all, Chloe’s more wrapped up in finishing college—not fraternizing with Hollywood’s elite. Her best bet is to stay under the radar and steer clear of everyone’s leading man.

But Jason can’t get his mind off the timid and sweet girl. Now, it’s up to the heartthrob to steal the heart of the one girl who doesn’t want him. But what happens when this contemporary Cinderella doesn’t even want to try on the glass slipper?

After all, not everyone has the same fairytale….

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Main Characters:

• Chloe Winters – college senior at University of New Mexico in Albuquerque, studying to be a forensic scientist primarily due to a trauma in her past, only daughter of a single mother
• Matthew – Chloe’s best friend, also a senior at UNM, from Texas, devout Christian and wears a purity ring
• Lori – Chloe’s housemate, also a senior at UNM
• Jason Vanderholt – A-list movie star, originally from Albuquerque, still has family locally, filming at UNM when the story begins
• Karen – Chloe’s mom
• Steve – Jason’s brother, currently in law school
• Jen – Jason’s sister, professional chef
• Lillian and Doug – Jason’s parents, also lawyers, worked in the DA’s office when Chloe was younger and experienced her trauma
• Kyra – Jen’s 16-year-old step-daughter who keeps acting out

First in a six-book series, Someone Else’s Fairytale may be one of E.M. Tippetts’ earlier romance or contemporary novels. The premise of the book piqued my interest, but the execution disappointed me. There is a LOT more going on than romance, and it felt like that was intentional to set up the rest of the series.

Jason Vanderholt is basically Hollywood’s current heartthrob, in his hometown of Albuquerque filming a movie. Chloe’s housemate Lori convinces Chloe and Matthew to be extras because she, like most red-blooded American women, would love the chance to meet Jason.

Chloe catches his eye, but the feelings are definitely not mutual. She hasn’t seen any of Jason’s movies and has no interest in a Hollywood lifestyle, but he’s smitten. Jason basically inserts himself into Chloe’s life every chance he gets and they eventually become friends.

It’s a romance novel, so you can probably guess how the story ends. I don’t need to detail it for you. Romances typically follow a formula, and I can be a sucker for a good happily ever after. I would be remiss, however, if I didn’t outline how this fell apart for me.

***SPOILERS*** SPOILERS***SPOILERS***

Matthew and Jason are both potential love interests for Chloe, but I wasn’t sure which one I was supposed to be hoping would come out on top. At the beginning of the story, Matthew is funny and supportive of Chloe. As she befriends Jason, Matthew becomes condescending, judgmental, and controlling. At one point, Chloe “realizes” she’s in love with Matthew and chooses him. They spend an evening making out, although they don’t sleep together since Chloe is a virgin and Matthew wears a purity ring. Then Matthew freezes her out because he wasn’t interested in Chloe. He just didn’t want Jason to win.

A couple weeks later, she “realizes” she’s in love with Jason and decides to be with him. After seven months together, he doesn’t broach the topic of being physical, but she also doesn’t tell him she’s a virgin. She spends time on location with him while he’s filming but always stays in another hotel room or a separate apartment. Even though they’re not physical, why can’t they stay in a hotel suite with more than one bedroom? It just all feels so unrealistic.

Chloe consistently turns to her mother for comfort, but at the very beginning of the book, you get the impression they aren’t close. Karen shows up at Chloe’s house, where she’s lived for a year. She had never been there before and didn’t know Lori, even though Chloe and Lori have known one another since freshman year. Once Jason shows an interest in Chloe, her mother becomes a relatively constant presence. Chloe is suspicious, but still ends up acting like they have a great relationship.

And there are two sub-stories—one about Chloe’s past trauma with her half-siblings, which draws in Jason’s brother and father, and one about Chloe’s ability to connect with Kyra. Honestly, Chloe seems to have more of a connection with Jason’s family than with Jason.

The book sounds very high school-ish as well. Matthew not wanting Jason to “win.” Chloe mentions several times that she and Jason need to have “the Talk” (and yes, it’s capitalized) about their relationship. Jason doesn’t respect any boundaries and flies out to see Chloe on private jets when he knows his fame and all its perks bother her. He doesn’t act like an almost 30-year-old man. He acts like an 18-year-old who suddenly finds himself with an obscene amount of money.

And on top of everything, the book isn’t very well-written.

• “He chuckled, his shoulders moving silently.” Do shoulders make noise?
• “She stuffed the phone at me.” Stuffed?
• “We were both sweaty, but Matthew’s sweat had a nice, sweet smell to it.” WHAT?!?
• “I put my phone down on my nightstand and rubbed my temples to clear my head. The air in my room was thick with moisture, I was sure, but I couldn’t really smell it because I’d woken up in it. If I left and came back, I’d probably want to crack open a window.” I’m not even sure what this means.😕

I definitely will not be reading the rest of this series.

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