I have always been a “glass half full” kind of person. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get back up. Look on the bright side. Worry when you have to worry. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Everything happens for a reason.

Twenty-one years ago today, I was recovering from a gall bladder attack on July 1 that landed me at the ER of Northwestern Hospital. The upside to the gall bladder attack was that I got to fly to New York a day earlier than planned (with my doctor’s approval) because I was eloping on July 5. The downside was that I had my second attack on the 6th and spent the day after I got married at Jamaica Hospital having my gall bladder removed.

My late husband Dennis was a “glass half empty” guy. I don’t know if it still happens today, but when I waited for surgery at Jamaica Hospital, they cleared the ER of visitors every hour for about 10 minutes. They happened to take me back for surgery while Dennis was out of the ER, and I remember him charging back at a full run to see me before they took me in. He wanted to see me before they put me under because…well, you never know.

I think part of Dennis’s worrywart personality came from him being a lifelong asthmatic. He relayed a story about a nurse who said when he was about 10 that he would be lucky to see 40. As long as I knew him, he believed that he was living on borrowed time, and that concern extended to everyone around him.

He worried about me dying during childbirth when I was pregnant with Corinne. He insisted that I volunteer for every field trip because no one would watch Corinne as closely as I would. And he was terrified that he was going to get cancer. Every time there was any kind of blip with his health, he would insist he had cancer. I would tell him he didn’t. He would say, but what if it is. And I would tell him that we would worry when we had to worry.

Fast forward to May of 2019, and suddenly we had to worry because pancreatic cancer doesn’t have a very good prognosis. I stayed as positive as I could for Dennis, all the while Googling survival rates. And for the next 16.5 months, I would push him to live in the moment, not to think about what ifs, not to think about what he was afraid he would be missing down the road.

I remember one particular visit with his oncologist. He was telling the doctor about a show at Corinne’s school, and he said the whole time he was sitting there, he kept thinking of the shows he wouldn’t get to see. Dr. Chaar told him that he had to focus on the now because he had robbed himself of both moments.

As he went through his treatments, I kept reminding him of what Dr. Chaar said. It was hard. One day, I was out at the store, and I picked up a little sign for him that says “choose joy,” and I propped it up in front of his television. After we lost him, I mentioned to my therapist that Corinne had a show coming up and that this is what Dennis was afraid to miss. It was bittersweet. She suggested a different perspective. Dennis was always going to have the best seat in the house. 🥰

I like that perspective a lot better. The “choose joy” sign still sits in front of the television in the living room. A woman at a local farmer’s market made two plaques for me—one says “this is us,” and the other says “choose happiness.” I also found some art pieces that I hung on the living room wall.

“Today only happens once. Make it amazing.”
and
“Someday everything will make perfect sense. For now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.”

I look at them every day. I see them every day. Happy anniversary in Heaven, honey.
Choose joy. 😊

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Book Review

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
5 Stars for Hello Stranger by Katherine Center

336 pages
Publisher: St. Martin’s Press
Publication Date: July 11, 2023
I received an advance copy of this title from NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press.

Publisher’s Description

Sadie Montgomery never saw what was coming…Literally! One minute she’s celebrating the biggest achievement of her life―placing as a finalist in the North American Portrait Society competition―the next she’s lying in a hospital bed diagnosed with a “probably temporary” condition known as face blindness. She can see, but every face she looks at is now a jumbled puzzle of disconnected features. Imagine trying to read a book upside down and in another language. This is Sadie’s new reality.

But, as she struggles to cope, hang on to her artistic dream, work through major family issues, and take care of her beloved dog, Peanut, she falls in love―not with one man but two. The timing couldn’t be worse.

Making judgment calls on anything right now is a nightmare. If only her life were a little more in focus, Sadie might be able to have it all.

************

Main Characters:

• Sadie – 28-year-old portrait artist, distant from her father since her mother died 14 years ago, lives in her art studio which she rents from her best friend’s parents
• Sue – Sadie’s best friend, they met in college as art majors whose parents disapproved of their chosen area of study
• Joe – lives in Sadie’s building, wears a 50s-style bowling jacket, Sadie’s first encounter with him is overhearing him speaking horribly about a one-night stand who is still in his bed sleeping
• Dr. Oliver Addison – new veterinarian in an office close to Sadie’s apartment where Sue’s family boarded Sadie’s dog while Sadie was in the hospital
• Lucinda – Sadie’s stepmother
• Parker – Sadie’s “evil” stepsister

Katherine Center has fast become one of my favorite authors. She creates fun characters, witty interactions, and happily-ever-afters that I find myself smiling about as I finish each book. Her upcoming new release, Hello Stranger, is no exception.

Sadie is the textbook definition of a struggling artist. Disappointing her surgeon father by changing her major from medicine to art, Sadie is barely surviving as a portrait artist. Her best friend Sue convinced her parents to let Sadie rent the top floor of their building as a studio on the condition that she wouldn’t be living there. Of course, she’s living there, and she can barely afford that.

But when she becomes a finalist in a national portrait competition where the prize is $10,000, she believes she is on the verge of being discovered. Until she finds herself in the hospital, having almost been hit by a car, because of a seizure and winds up needing brain surgery. When she comes out of the surgery, her brain sees faces like mixed up puzzle pieces. She has prosopagnosia (face blindness), which may or may not be permanent. And her final portrait for the competition is due in six weeks!

Armed with some tips from her doctor, Sadie spends a lot of time learning to navigate her new normal. She focuses on hair styles, gait, scents, conversation cues to identify people, but she doesn’t want people to know she doesn’t recognize them. Sue and Sue’s parents know, her father and stepmother know, and her stepsister Parker (much to Sadie’s dismay) also knows.

Sue is a perfectly well-meaning but clueless best friend. She is so supportive and positive that you have to love her even after she organizes a surprise party with 50 people for the introverted and currently face-blind Sadie. Parker, on the other hand, takes every opportunity to trick Sadie into thinking she is a friend and then making Sadie miserable.

But then Sadie suddenly finds herself attracted to two very different men. Joe makes a horrible first impression by describing his one-night stand as a “mountain of blubber.” Dr. Addison exudes confidence and empathy taking care of Sadie’s 14-year-old dog Peanut. As much as she knows she should, she can’t bring herself to admit to either one of them that she doesn’t know what they really look like. She doesn’t want anyone else to know.

I really loved this story, and I feel like I should have seen the end coming long before it was revealed, but I think I was just too invested to be looking for the twists. Don’t try to figure anything out. Just enjoy it.

The author clearly did her research on Sadie’s disorder, which will help readers understand how face blindness affects those it afflicts. And it didn’t hurt that Sadie’s doctor was from Trinidad (where my late husband was from). She nailed the description of the accent as being “a mixture of posh British and soft Caribbean.” 😉

In her Author’s Note, Center says that she thinks the reason romance is such an appealing genre is because we know things will get better. She says “tragedy is a given, but joy is a choice.” She also says “love is nourishing.” Spot on, Ms. Center. Consider me fed. 😊

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