(I want everyone who follows me to read all of my posts, and I also don’t want to push my views if they are unwelcome. If you are not a believer in God or the afterlife, you might want to skip this one, but I hope you don’t. 😊)

I believe a life after life exists. I know, I know. Most people would say life after death. But if we truly believe in an afterlife, then talking about it as death is way too depressing. If we truly believe in an afterlife, it’s not our body that makes us human. So I’m sticking with life after life, thank you very much. 😉

We’ve all heard the stories about near-death experiences, people seeing a bright light and coming back from it. There have been countless movies about kids who are able to see and understand things they can’t possibly know at a young age. It is also believed that very young children, in their innocence, can see the spirits of those who have passed.

I was raised in a Christian family. My mother was raised Catholic; Dad was United Church of Christ. After I made my First Communion, Mom converted, and we were at our UCC church every Sunday. Now, I will be the first to admit that I did not devoutly go to church once I was old enough to make that choice myself, and I go even less often now.

It doesn’t diminish my faith. I believe wholeheartedly that attending church services creates the perfect community to worship together. I also believe that I don’t have to attend church in order to worship, and as an introvert, I prefer to be home. If God is everywhere, I can worship Him from anywhere.

I’m sure there are plenty of people who disagree with me, and I know there are lots of people who don’t believe in God at all. When this life ends, that’s it. Everyone’s beliefs are valid, even if they’re different from my own. I choose to believe in a higher power, and I choose to believe that life continues after we pass.

I’ve written a lot about my late husband Dennis’s diagnosis and battle with pancreatic cancer. It was, understandably, a huge turning point in our lives. As painful and heartbreaking as his loss was, I believe that he is surrounded by the people he loved, and I believe they were there to meet him when we had to let him go.

Once Dennis went into in-hospital hospice care, they kept him sedated and comfortable. Every night, his brother and I took turns staying with him. I would stay until about 2 a.m. Rodolfo would come, and I would go home and then come back around 10 with Corinne when we could all be there. I remember vividly the night before he passed, I decided to take the “late shift.” Dennis’s mom was in town, so I took her home and Rodolfo stayed until 2 when I came back to the hospital.

While I sat with Dennis that night, I played the music from his phone, all his favorites, just sitting with him. It was quiet, but at one point he stirred a little bit and said very clearly, “Mama.” There is only one person Dennis ever called “mama,” and that was his grandmother. His mother was “mummy” or “Margaret.” His grandmother was there. I am certain of it.

I know the arguments. There is no proof God exists. I would argue that the whole universe is proof. If God is a God of love, why does He let xyz happen? I don’t know. Why do some people suffer in this lifetime while others live lives of luxury? I don’t know. Why do we experience sickness, disease, disasters? I don’t know. But my belief…and let me make sure I stress that it’s MY belief…I don’t need to know. I just need to have faith that God knows…and I do.

Dennis and I had always said that everything happens for a reason because there are things in our relationship that just seemed to work out for the best even though we didn’t understand them at the time. Corinne was not quite 15 when Dennis passed, and Dennis and I had expected to grow old together watching her do all the things that make parents proud. I don’t understand why we lost him when we did, but it’s not my place to understand. But I have faith that his job here was finished, and his spirit had more to do elsewhere.

The future is promised to no one, so live the life you want to live while you can. Tell people you love them. Spend time with the people who are important to you.

That’s the overarching theme of Jamie Beck’s newest 5-star release reviewed below. It’s not lost on me that the release date is Dennis’s birthday.

Happy birthday, honey. We think about you every single day, and we love you. 💜

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Book Review

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
5 Stars for The Beauty of Rain by Jamie Beck

331 pages
Publisher: Montlake
Publication Date: July 18, 2023
I received an advance copy of this title from NetGalley and Montlake in exchange for an honest review.

Publisher’s Description

Winning the lottery changed Amy Walsh’s life, but the cost was greater than she could bear. In the aftermath, she struggles to find joy and purpose. Only one thing feels certain now―she will never spend one cent of the prize money on herself.

Worried, her older sister, Kristin DeMarco, invites Amy to live with her family while she heals. Unfortunately, this arrangement leads to trouble for Kristin: Divided focus affects her career. Her daughter prefers Amy to her. And Amy’s unsolicited opinions provoke tension between Kristin and her husband.

Meanwhile, Amy is making drastic plans of her own, which include giving away all her money. But first she must convince Kristin not to squander her most valuable asset―time with her family.

As the sisters help each other reimagine their futures, life’s unpredictability sends them to surprising places that test their love and resilience. Will they learn to live in the now, before it’s too late?

************

Main Characters:

• Amy Walsh – 30s, widowed, lost her husband Sean and her four-year-old son Scotty in a freak accident nine months ago, had quit working after winning the lottery to be a stay-at-home-mom to care for Scotty who was autistic, believes the money was “cursed” because of the way she lost her family, attempted suicide after their deaths
• Kristin DeMarco – Amy’s older sister, a lawyer working hard to make equity partner, feels responsible for keeping Amy from a second suicide attempt
• Tony DeMarco – Kristin’s husband, works in real estate, Amy believes he is too focused on wealth-building
• Luca and Livvy DeMarco – Kristin and Tony’s nine-year-old son and six-year-old daughter

Trigger Warning: suicidal ideation, prescription drug abuse

I have fast become a huge fan of Jamie Beck, and her newest book made me feel a lot of emotions. 😥 And even though I read an advance copy, this amazing story (with its stunning cover art) will be adorning my bookshelf in hard copy.

The Prologue details Amy Walsh’s admission to the ER by ambulance after a car accident. “No other vehicles. No skid marks. No seat belt.” And Amy has scars on her wrists that the EMT points out to the doctor. Suspicious already.

As Chapter One begins three months prior to the prologue, Amy is “celebrating” with her sister’s family what would have been her son Scotty’s fifth birthday. The book really only plays out over the course of the three months between the birthday party and the car accident, but we learn a lot about the past several years of Amy’s life.

Scotty was autistic and needed a lot of assistance. Amy quit working to stay home with him, trying desperately to develop a bond to get through to him. Sean refused to acknowledge Scotty’s neurodivergence, even after an official diagnosis. Amy and Sean struggled financially because of the cost of his care, creating additional tension in their marriage.

And then they won the Powerball (which Sean didn’t know Amy had been playing, so another point to argue about). Suddenly they had all the money they could possibly need for Scotty’s care, and Amy planned a vacation to celebrate their windfall. She returned home alone and grief-stricken.

This story takes us through Amy’s grief journey for the year following the accident and her hyper focus on convincing Kristin to live in the moment, even as Kristin’s own life (personally and professionally) seems to be spinning out of control. Kristin feels responsible for keeping her sister focused on staying alive along with managing her career and her family, but even Tony tells Kristin that Amy has to want to stay alive.

Beck mentions in an author’s note at the beginning of the book that the inspiration for this story came from a very personal place. There is a definite focus on belief in the afterlife, that we each have a purpose in being on this earth, and that the future is promised to no one.

As a widow myself, this book challenged me. I didn’t lose my husband in an accident, and I still have my daughter, but grief is still grief. With some tough topics and a heartbreaking story, I still felt uplifted by the end.

For me, this was perfect. 🥰

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