I don’t know many people who don’t have an online presence. I have a handful of friends who don’t have any social media accounts for a variety of reasons, but most people have at least a Facebook account.

LinkedIn was probably the first “social” online account I had, but it’s designed primarily for professional connections, and I use it exclusively for that. I don’t post my blog there. I don’t really post anything there to be honest. I didn’t create a Facebook account until after Corinne was born. We didn’t want to post any pictures of her online, so I joined really just to make sure no one else was posting pictures of her. My privacy settings back then were “friends of friends,” and even though I’ve since made my page public to make my blog posts more accessible, many of the individual settings are still “friends” or “friends of friends.”

I’m on more social media platforms now: Pinterest (I don’t remember the last time I posted there), Twitter, Instagram, Goodreads, BookBub, Snapchat, TikTok. The last two I joined because Corinne is on them, and I’ve made it clear to her that if I ever find out she has an account I’m not a part of, that’s the day she loses them all…along with her phone…and along with her car. Once she’s a full-blown adult, I don’t really have much say in the matter, but I pay for the phone and the car, so there’s that. 😉

One of the topics Corinne and I have talked about many, many times is to be careful what you post online. First, even on the platforms where everything disappears in 24 hours, that stuff never really goes away. And the stupidity you post as a teenager could come back to bite you in the behind as an adult. Second, you can easily expose yourself to a lot of unsavory people depending on what you post.

For example, how many times have you filled out one of those Facebook quizzes that says, “let’s get to know each other better”? You copy and paste from a friend’s feed and answer the questions for yourself. What’s your favorite color? What town did you grow up in? What was your first car? How many siblings do you have? You know the drill. Sounds fun…and for most people that’s what it is. But…any police officer will tell you that’s a sure-fire way of giving hackers, thieves, criminals, whatever lawbreaker you want to choose, all sorts of password hints. They’re not wrong. Think about your online accounts and the number of password hints you’ve used that match some of those questions.🤔

I try to be careful when I post pictures. Anyone can find where I live. Home sales are public record. That will basically tell anyone who really wants to know where Corinne goes to school. But I don’t tag locations when we’re out unless I know someone is home. And if the house is going to be empty, I don’t post vacation photos until we come back home. And I change passwords and check privacy settings pretty regularly.

When we were growing up, my dad always told us that locks keep honest people honest. If a thief wants to get your things, they will. That’s what they do. But you don’t have to make it easy for them, and you certainly don’t need to tempt everyone else. We have Ring floodlights and cameras. We have an alarm system on the house. We’re not going to make it easy.

The same can be said for online accounts. The people who really want your information will find a way to get it. But if it’s harder to get, maybe they’ll move on to an easier target. A while back, I came across a book that revolved around a stalker who found all they needed to know about a woman by what she posted online. It was a great story…and also kind of terrifying.

Book Review

⭐⭐⭐⭐
4 Stars for I Know You by Annabel Kantaria

303 pages
Publisher: Crooked Lane Books
Publication Date: June 11, 2019
I originally received an advance copy of this title from NetGalley and Crooked Lane Books in exchange for an honest review.

Publisher’s Description

That picture you posted?
I’ve seen it.
That location you tagged?
I’ve been there.
I know everything about your life . . .
And I’m going to destroy it.

A recent transplant from sunny California, life in the London suburbs is not what Taylor Watson expected. Far from the West End shops and city lights she imagined, she finds herself pregnant and lonely, with a husband frequently away on business and only social media to keep her company. It’s only after Taylor joins a book club and a walking group, that she finally starts to make some real-life friends.

Before long, Taylor’s hanging out with Anna, Sarah, Simon, and Caroline but, as her pregnancy progresses and her friendships blossom, a sense of unease develops. Nothing’s ever quite as it seems on the surface, and it soon becomes clear that Taylor’s new friends have secrets. One appears to be after Taylor’s husband, another’s always putting her down, and then there’s the question of Simon. Could he have feelings for Taylor?

But far more worryingly, one of the group’s not being too careful what they post on social media—and another is watching all too closely. Who’s stalking who . . . and why?

************

I Know You by Annabel Kantaria plays on every fear you could have about social media and the way we as a society naively post so much of our lives, giving away information even when we’re careful. Very early in the book, there’s a paragraph that mentions Instagram location services and Google Maps street view (which I’ve used) that made me think, “Yes, anyone could find anyone really with just a little bit of scrolling and searching.” These tools can be great, but they can also invite some unsavory characters into our lives.

The story here is well-written. There’s enough switching between Taylor Watson’s perspective and the “stalker.” Taylor tells the story in the first person, and we know from the very beginning that something happened. We just don’t know what.

We are introduced to a variety of people who could be the stalker, including Taylor herself. The author does a good job of cloaking the identity. The story is fast-paced. I was about 75% of the way through when I realized we were getting a little too close to the end and I was worried we weren’t going to get a great ending. But that was really when we reach the big reveal in the story, and we get a great race to the conclusion.

There was one thing about the story that really bugged me, outlined in the spoiler below. It may not bug everybody, but it’s what put me at 4 stars instead of 5. The only issue is that if this element were not in the book, the “whodunit” perspective would not have been as good.

***SPOILERS*** SPOILERS***SPOILERS***

The main character in this book, Taylor, is from California, and she and her husband Jake moved to the UK for a fresh start after Jake cheated on her. What bugged me is that Taylor doesn’t speak like an American. She uses words like “queue” instead of “line,” “mum” instead of “mom,” and “tuts” instead of I don’t know what. When a character is supposed to be American, it really bothers me when they don’t sound like one. In this case, if Taylor sounded American, we would know she isn’t the stalker, so I get it, but it still really bothered me as a reader.

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