Sister relationships can be complicated. I am the middle child between an older sister and a younger brother, so I have an older sister, and I am an older sister. But the relationships I had with each of my siblings growing up was very different.

My sister and I shared a room, and we fought like cats and dogs. Not fist fights. More like screaming matches. But to the point that my father once lectured us about how we needed to figure out how to get along because we would regret it as adults if we didn’t. We are only two years apart, so we were close enough in age that we ran in some of the same circles, but we are just far enough apart that it was annoying to her that we did. When you’re 16, the last thing you want is your 14-year-old sister tagging along anywhere.

I don’t remember how old we were when our parents got us a double bed to replace our twin beds. I don’t remember the actual arguments or what caused them. Some of the end results are laughable now, but at the time…whew, it was bad.

One time we had masking tape down the center of our room, literally down the middle of the bed and all. Neither of us was allowed on the other’s side, with the exception of me entering or leaving the room since the door was on “her” side. Another time, I put a sleeping bag on the floor on my side of the bed and said it was because I didn’t want to sleep in the same bed with someone who hated me. (Let’s ignore the fact that me choosing to sleep on the floor didn’t bother her one bit. 🤦‍♀️)

There are good memories too. I discovered Simon and Garfunkel pretty young, but Cindi didn’t embrace them until she was older. When I was home sick from school one day, I was listening to a Simon and Garfunkel record when she arrived at home, and she said that I was sick because I was listening to sick music. (For my younger readers, “sick” didn’t mean anything good back then.)

Another time, I was listening to “Castle Walls” by Styx. If you’ve never heard the song, there is a part that gets increasingly louder and then suddenly goes silent and into the bass guitar beat that starts the song. Cindi was sitting on the floor leaning against the dresser that held the turntable, bouncing and dancing in her seat as the music got louder. When it went quiet, she panicked thinking she had bumped the dresser and scratched or skipped my record.

Then there’s the time we went with our aunt on vacation to Kentucky, and Cindi’s birthday was while we were gone. After we sang to her, she was about to sit down on a stool, and I tried to stop her (I don’t remember why) by moving the stool. I really didn’t intend for her to fall on her behind, but she did. We all got a really good laugh out of that one.

As we got older and moved into separate spaces (she moved in with our grandparents for a while, I went away to college), we found our sister rhythm. We could enjoy going out for drinks and dinner, and we regularly went out with our mom for some girl time. We definitely don’t argue like we used to, and we can both admit to loving one another. I’ll even hug her back when she hugs me. 🤗

My daughter’s relationship with her own sister is very different. Tenielle is 20 years older than Corinne, so when Corinne was younger, creating that sister bond from across the country was harder. Tenielle met Corinne for the first time when Corinne was nine months old. They didn’t meet again in person until 14 years later. But they have spent time cultivating that relationship with phone calls and text messages and Facetime, so much so that when they saw each other in September, there were plenty of hugs and love to go around, and you would have never guessed that they had only met once before.

When I was in college, I met my best friend at the beginning of our sophomore year. I have known Stephanie longer than I have not known her. When my parents would visit me at school, Stephanie always went along when we went out for dinner. When she offered to pay for her portion of the meal, my father informed her that her money was no good. That has never changed in the 30+ years we’ve been friends. Stephanie is as much a part of our family as any one of us. We have laughed together, we have cried together, we have been crazy together, and I can’t imagine not having her in my life. She is my sister in every way except by blood.

My sister-in-law is a sister. Our neighbor is more like a sister to my daughter than a friend. Sisters don’t have to be women who were born into the same family. When Elle Woods says in the movie Legally Blonde that she “can’t break the bonds of sisterhood,” she’s talking about a sorority sister. It’s not about blood. It’s about loyalty. It’s about having someone’s back no matter what. It’s about being there through good times and bad and understanding that disagreements don’t cancel out the love of a sister.

Sisters are forever, and I love all of mine.

I recently read a teen/young adult novel that will be out in January 2021 about a girl who discovers a secret sister. She has to manage through her feelings of loyalty to her parents, who she feels have betrayed her, and her loyalty to her newly discovered sister just because they’re sisters.

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Book Review

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
5 Stars for You Have a Match by Emma Lord

320 pages
Publisher: Wednesday Books
Publication Date: January 5, 2021
I received an advance copy of this title from NetGalley and Wednesday Books.

Publisher’s Description

When Abby signs up for a DNA service, it’s mainly to give her friend and secret love interest, Leo, a nudge. After all, she knows who she is already: Avid photographer. Injury-prone tree climber. Best friend to Leo and Connie…although ever since the B.E.I. (Big Embarrassing Incident) with Leo, things have been awkward on that front.

But she didn’t know she’s a younger sister.

When the DNA service reveals Abby has a secret sister, shimmery-haired Instagram star Savannah Tully, it’s hard to believe they’re from the same planet, never mind the same parents—especially considering Savannah, queen of green smoothies, is only a year and a half older than Abby herself.

The logical course of action? Meet up at summer camp (obviously) and figure out why Abby’s parents gave Savvy up for adoption. But there are complications: Savvy is a rigid rule-follower and total narc. Leo is the camp’s co-chef, putting Abby’s growing feelings for him on blast. And her parents have a secret that threatens to unravel everything.

But part of life is showing up, leaning in, and learning to fit all your awkward pieces together. Because sometimes, the hardest things can also be the best ones. 

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One of the things I love about teen and young adult fiction is that it’s usually so much fun. Emma Lord’s upcoming novel You Have a Match is no exception. I discovered Ms. Lord when I read her first novel Tweet Cute (Witty People of the World, Teach Me Your Ways), and her second definitely didn’t disappoint. These are the types of books that I would have let my daughter read when she was in middle school and would encourage her to read now that she’s in high school. They’re clean, engaging, well-written, and fun.

Abby Day is a high school junior who decides to do a DNA test in support of her friend Leo, who is adopted and wants to find information about his biological family, and also to prove to her other friend Connie which one of them is more Irish. It’s a joke to her, something that she’s only doing because her best friends are doing it, and maybe just a little because she has a crush on Leo. What she gets out of it, though, is an older sister she knew nothing about which leads to a whole lot of chaos and craziness and a world where she isn’t sure whether she can trust her parents anymore. And she’s determined to get to the bottom of it.

This is a great story that covers a lot of different angles—sister love, high school romance, high school drama, and parent/teen relationships. It’s fast-paced and realistic and has situations that could easily be worked out if people would just talk to each other. But we know they won’t because everyone fears getting hurt, so better to pull back than to put yourself out there and really take a risk.

I love all of the characters in this book, and I definitely recommend it for teens and adults alike. This is a happily-ever-after that is well worth the journey to get there.

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