Story for the Week
When I met Dennis in an online chat room back in 2002, the dating world really still revolved around meeting people organically. People met out at bars, at work, and at other types of social events. Sites like Match.com and eHarmony existed, but they weren’t as simple as the apps of today. I also wasn’t looking for a relationship either. Dennis and I just happened to click while I spent time talking with random people in a chat room.
I vividly remember my brother’s concern about me flying to New York to meet “some stranger” I met online. I explained to him that I could just as easily meet someone in a bar and have them follow me home and bludgeon me to death. Meeting online didn’t change the players. It just widened the playing field.
Dennis and I spent a ton of time talking before meeting in person—like, actual talking, not just online chatting. I knew what he sounded like, and more importantly, I knew what he looked liked. Could he still have been a mass murderer? I guess. 🤷♀️ But I figured the odds of a mass murderer devoting that much time to one person who lived thousands of miles away were pretty slim.
The launch of Tinder in 2012 really changed the market for online dating. And with the hundreds of dating apps available (yes, I said hundreds), people match with way more duds than true connections. And before you ask, no…I am NOT on dating apps. But my 20-something daughter, who is in the key demographic for dating apps, has definitely dipped her toe in.
We established some rules pretty early on. First dates should always be in a very public place. She should drive her own car and meet wherever they’re going. If she wants, she can have a friend or two at a separate table, unbeknownst to the guy she’s meeting. Safety first.
She downloaded several different apps and has been on and off of them over the last year or so since she came back from Liverpool (The Beatles Make a Great Backdrop). She’s spent some time talking to a few different guys, but one in particular waited almost a year to show her who he really is.
“Paul” started out as a romantic interest. (Note: Name changed to protect the guilty, and I just made a Beatles reference, so why not?) Based on a boundary that Corinne has about smoking, she friend-zoned him pretty quickly. But they got along well and had a lot in common, so they kept talking as friends. Over time, he started to flirt a little more. He would comment that he liked her, that he thought she was pretty. She held to her boundary, and he knew that the ball was in his court…if he decided to quit smoking, it had to be for himself and not for Corinne.
He suggested recently that while he deals with some family stuff and works on himself, maybe they could consider meeting up in a few months, see how things pan out. Corinne was amenable to that because she genuinely liked him…until she didn’t.
Corinne and Paul typically chatted over SnapChat or TikTok. One day, he actually sent her his phone number, so they started texting. A few days later, he commented to her how much he liked her. Nothing out of the ordinary…until a few hours later.
He sent her a message and told her that he didn’t want to lead her on, that he was interested in someone else. A little surprising after the messages earlier in the day. She responded with maturity. Thanked him for being honest, indicated that it still hurt a little considering all they had talked about recently. He told her someone came back into his life recently, and she told him that she wouldn’t be a fallback person.
She was polite. She was mature. He responded in one of the rudest ways you can tell someone “f*** you” without actually saying “f*** you.” After a year of talking as friends…after telling her that same day how much he liked her, he responded to her text with “You do you.” 😮🤯
She was a bit shocked and didn’t really know how to respond. I told her not to let him be her “George” (not his real name…again, Beatles reference). George was someone who one of her friends kept going back and forth with and took a long time to finally cut him off. They had way more history than Corinne and Paul, but the idea was the same. Don’t wait around for someone who thinks you’ll always be there. Don’t be someone’s perpetual second choice.
She called her friend and told her what I said. Her friend agreed with me, and told her that she would find someone eventually who likes her for her. I immediately asked Corinne if I could write about this for a blog post because I had already highlighted the light bulb moment for the female main character in the book reviewed below. I wanted to use the idea for a blog post but didn’t have a clear story to go with it.
“Don’t you think people are going to want to hang out with me?”
She smiles. “I think you’re missing hanging out with people. Don’t force it. Let people like you for you, not for what you give them.”
I don’t need a therapist—not that I’ve been going to one anyway—when I have Maria. I start to walk out of her room, thinking about her wise advice when something occurs to me. I turn back. “Thanks for the help, Maria.”
As I lie in bed, I keep mulling over what Maria said. People should like me for me. People can meet each others’ needs and not just be using each other. People should like me for me.
You know what? She’s right. And if Henderson doesn’t want me for me, I’ll find someone who does.
So this post telling Corinne’s very personal story is Corinne-approved. Even though she really liked talking to Paul as a friend, she blocked his number and unadded him on all her social media. Because she’s worth more than being someone’s fallback person. Paul can certainly choose to spend the summer getting his life together, but Corinne won’t be there waiting at the end of it.
Because people should like her for her, and the important people in her life already do. 😉
Dennis would have turned 67 yesterday. Happy birthday in Heaven, honey.
Thank you for always loving us for who we are. 💞
Book Review
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
5 Stars for Vision of Love by Kathryn R. Biel
284 pages
Publisher: Resilient Books
Publication Date: June 29, 2021
Purchased directly from the author.
Publisher’s Description
Once a household name and pop sensation, Tabitha Stetson is now navigating the shadows of obscurity, determined to keep a Hollywood secret under wraps. With three weeks of child-free bliss in the bustling Big Apple, Tabitha aims to rediscover her post-Sassy Cat purpose. Her desires are clear, but the path to fulfillment remains a puzzle.
Then there’s Henderson Quade. Once a dreamer of the spotlight, he’s now content directing the magic behind The Edison Theater’s curtain. He’ll move heaven and earth to ensure the theater’s triumph, yet he staunchly maintains his cardinal rule: never date an actress.
But a routine business meeting takes an unexpected turn when Henderson finds himself drawn to the captivating Tabitha. Their chemistry crackles, and her serenade steals his heart, making it clear this isn’t just another date—it’s a genuine connection. Yet, he’s convinced it should be a one-time fling.
That is until a nosy reporter throws a curveball, forcing The Edison Theater to bank on Tabitha’s star power. And in an unexpected twist, Henderson realizes he needs her just as much as the theater does.
Will this be a perfect match made in showbiz heaven, or will it spiral into an epic disaster? One thing’s certain—the show must go on!
************
Main Characters:
- Tabitha Stetson – 35 years old, aka Tabby Cat from the superstar girl group Sassy Cats, her daughter Paisley is about to turn four, Paisley’s dad is a married superstar actor who wants to keep Paisley’s paternity a secret, his wife is a bigtime producer who seems to love Paisley, Tabitha has stayed out of the spotlight since having Paisley as a way of keeping Paisley’s paternity a secret
- Henderson Quade – 35 years old, managing director of The Edison theater in upstate New York, lives in New York City off-season and sublets his apartment during the summer when he stays at The Edison in Hicklam
- Grayson Keene – the face of The Edison, has been in his family for four generations
- Angie Aliberti – a former member of the Sassy Cats with Tabitha, married to Sergei, Tabitha is staying with them while she’s in New York, launched from Sassy Cats to Broadway and a stint on the reality show Hollywood Dance Off!
- Mandy Calhoun – former lead singer of the Sassy Cats with Tabitha, also lives in New York, collaborating with one of their former musicians (Ben) on a new album, recently divorced, everyone thinks she and Ben are involved
- Maria – Paisley’s nanny, previously worked for Paisley’s dad and stepmom, seems like more of a mother figure for Tabitha than she’s ever really had
Vision of Love, the second book in Kathryn R. Biel’s Center Stage Love Story series deals with some serious mommy issues on the part of the main characters. Both of them have different mommy issues, but mommy issues abound nonetheless.
I have come to appreciate the seamless way Biel weaves serious issues into her romantic comedies. Life is messy, and everyone has their own crap that they’re dealing with. We still all go out into the world looking for what we think we want out of love (or not, in Henderson’s case). One of the things I love about this story is that both Tabitha and Henderson are clearly broken. And together, they make each other whole.
Tabitha became a single mom over a bad romantic decision that left her hiding her daughter’s paternity and staying out of the spotlight. And she desperately misses the spotlight. Tabitha loves her daughter but feels like now that’s all she’s good for. “Just like that, I’m falling back into my old ways. Immediately, guilt washes over me. For a minute, up on that stage, I forgot myself. I forgot that I’m no longer Tabby Cat. I forgot that I’m just someone’s mother.”
JUST someone’s mother? 😬
And thank goodness her former girl group friends support her because her mother certainly lacks the ability to do anything but put her down.
“New York theater people are more intellectual. Like well-read and stuff.”
“Mom, it’s not like I’m illiterate. I graduated from high school.”
“Barely, and only because you slept with one of your teachers. Tabby, you need to know what you’re good at. Have realistic expectations. That’s all I’m saying.”
Henderson, on the other hand, doesn’t even really know his mother. His parents met while his father attended school in Australia. His mother was always kind of a mess, unable to hold a job or take care of Henderson. When his father returned briefly to Australia, he took Henderson back to the States with him for a visit and just never went back.
His father maintained a steady stream of women in and out of his life. Henderson wants nothing to do with relationships. “It’s not just that I don’t date people I work with, it’s that in all honesty, I don’t date. I don’t do relationships at all. I’ve seen how they destroy people, and I never wanted to go through that.”
I mean, do they sound like a match made in Heaven? 🤷♀️
But…somehow, they feel drawn to one another. This story is a romance, so of course, they get their happily ever after. They have to manage through the inevitable split and tug of war before they do. But at the end of the day, they are meant to be together. They are meant to get each other through the issues they have spent their entire lives navigating. And that’s really the way it should be, isn’t it?
This book is a fun, quick read. Biel creates great main characters, spectacular banter, an adorable kid who doesn’t even realize her mom is famous, and a nanny who seems to provide all the wisdom and motherly love that Tabitha might actually need. This story makes my heart happy.
Book #3 review coming in three weeks. 😉🥰
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