Story for the Week
My husband Dennis was a life-long asthmatic (as I mentioned last week in The Perspective of Living in the Moment). He never resisted going to the doctor and, in fact, was a bit of a hypochondriac. He went religiously for an annual physical, but because of all the medications he was taking, bloodwork was a multiple times per year thing. Kidney function, thyroid, liver function…all of those were checked on a pretty regular basis.
In February of 2019, I was sitting in my car in a parking lot, having just come out of the store, and I got a call from our doctor. Dennis’s bloodwork had come back with some elevated pancreatic enzyme levels, and he was worried about pancreatitis. He knew better than to call Dennis, but he wanted us to go to the emergency room for an ultrasound.
The ultrasound showed a slightly enlarged pancreas, and the gastroenterologist decided to do an upper endoscopy so they could go in with a camera and see what was going on. The results weren’t concerning. The doctor said Dennis’s pancreas was a bit enlarged and inflamed, consistent with pancreatitis. He sent us home with directions to improve Dennis’s diet and to come back in six months for another check.
Five months later, Dennis was having severe gastrointestinal issues. We ended up back at the hospital with the same gastroenterologist doing another upper endoscopy. This time, Dennis’s pancreas looked very different, and even before the biopsy results were confirmed, the doctor referred us to an oncologist and a surgeon because Dennis had pancreatic cancer.
I detailed a lot of Dennis’s cancer journey in For My Husband, We Miss You about six weeks after he died. In that particular post, I mentioned his pulmonologist, Dr. Rohinee Beri. She was the doctor who told us we were at the end and got Dennis set up in hospice care in the hospital. An amazingly kind doctor and always a straight shooter, she helped make Dennis’s last few days comfortable.
It’s been nearly two and a half years since we lost him in September of 2020. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long already. Most days feel more normal now. I work, Corinne goes to school, she has her school activities, and we watch reality TV together. But sometimes there are reminders, and I get slammed with the experience all over again.
I’ll read a book, like the one I reviewed here, that takes longer than normal to get through because I relive Dennis’s diagnosis and his treatment and his loss. Or I pick up the mail a few days after I finish that book and see an envelope addressed to Dennis from his pulmonologist’s office, and I wonder why on earth they’re sending anything because they know he died. I open the envelope to a letter telling Dr. Beri’s patients that she died “after a brief illness,” and I tell Corinne to look online for her obituary only to find out she died from cancer at 44 just a few weeks before.
I am stunned by this news, as I sit and think about that day in the hospital that she told us Dennis was dying, and it would be a matter of days. I feel for her husband and her children because I know what they have been through. And that evening, when I’m at Forensics Night at the high school, watching the speech performances from the state competition (where Oak Lawn placed second overall), I give myself a headache trying—and failing—to hold back tears when one of the pieces is from The Hot Young Widows Club: Lessons on Survival from the Front Lines of Grief.
And as I sit here writing this post, the tears start again. Two and a half years later, the triggers are still very real…and we still miss you. 💜
Book Review
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
5 Stars for The Wonder of Now by Jamie Beck
317 pages
Publisher: Montlake Romance
Publication Date: September 10, 2019
Author giveaway—thank you to Jamie Beck! 🥰
Publisher’s Description
Moving on has never been harder―or so perfectly unpredictable…
Peyton Prescott would give anything for the carefree life she knew before breast cancer changed everything. But instead of using her second chance to move forward, she’s stuck promoting the memoir her brother convinced her to write, thus reliving the very battle she wants to forget. If she hopes her European book tour will allow her to enjoy revisiting her favorite travel-writing destinations, she’s wrong: her PR whiz is too consumed with his own goals to consider her needs.
Mitch Mathis has relied on discipline to achieve his goals, and with his new firm’s success riding on Peyton’s book launch, he must keep her on task. They’re here for business, not pleasure. And Mitch won’t let unbridled desire harm his professional reputation―not again.
When frustrated expectations and attraction throw the tour into chaos, it challenges everything Mitch and Peyton believe about themselves, life, and love, forcing these opposites to consider whether they can embrace the change they need to grow.
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Main Characters:
- Peyton Prescott – travel writer, recently completed treatment for breast cancer and published a book with her brother Logan about her journey; still trying to rebuild her friendship with Claire after their falling out over Claire’s ex-boyfriend.
- Mitch Mathis – publicist, recently opened his own firm; Peyton and Logan’s book is their first big title because of the Prescott family name.
- Logan Prescott – a photographer, his aspiration in life is to win a Pulitzer like his grandfather did, recently engaged to Claire; he envisioned and shot the photos for the book about Peyton’s cancer journey.
- Claire McKenna – interior designer, owns a small remodeling business with her and Peyton’s best friend Steffi; was injured in a mall shooting as a teenager and has been overcoming the fear of leaving Sanctuary Sound that the incident caused.
The final book in Jamie Beck’s Sanctuary Sound series takes to the next level the emotional roller coaster that this series encompasses. Each book stands as it’s own story, and the romances and emotions they revolve around get increasingly more intense. Peyton’s story is real and raw because of Beck’s research on the emotional and physical toll of cancer.
When we meet Peyton in the first book, she is just starting treatment. By the time we reach this final book, she is two years post-diagnosis and nearly a year out of treatment. Worried about what the future will hold, Peyton is acutely aware of the impending one-year mark when she will have to start her annual testing to ensure she’s still cancer-free. She’s afraid of what the future holds…or if she has any future at all.
Peyton’s publicist Mitch is depending on Peyton and Logan’s book to hit the bestseller charts, but he hasn’t been able to bring himself to read the book because he lost his father to cancer and doesn’t want to relive it. Instead, he dedicates all of his free time to coddling his mother and his sister out of a misplaced sense of responsibility. Oh…and he’s starting an international book tour with Peyton and is afraid to fly. What could possibly go wrong?
Both Peyton and Mitch battle their own personal demons throughout the book, and they feel an irresistible attraction to one another that they spend a lot of time trying to resist. I really enjoyed their chemistry and their awareness of the work they had to do on themselves. Theirs is a solid love story based on a trust they work to build and friendship first. Peyton makes Mitch realize that you have to appreciate the wonders in life, that it’s not all about work. And Mitch helps Peyton to realize that you can’t spend life afraid of what if.
Kudos to Beck for talking with cancer survivors because she nails the emotional aspect. The feelings and actions of all the characters are on point. From a personal perspective, this was difficult for me to read, but it’s worth following Peyton’s journey. What a great finale for this series.
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