When Corinne was younger, I used to take her to the office when they had events scheduled for kids. I’ve been working from home for more than 15 years now, so it was important to us when she was young to see where Mommy “really” worked from time to time. At one of these events, the kids filled out posters. One of the questions they filled in asked what they wanted to be when they grew up. Corinne’s response was “an HR Manager, like my mom.”

She’s planning to study performing arts in college—a far cry from HR manager. Then again, so is journalist, which was what I planned to be. I started in that direction, taking a job as a proofreader right out of college. That proofreader became a production manager…then an executive assistant…then a magazine production manager (this was at least close)…then an HR staffing manager. And the rest, they say, is history.

Journalist to HR Manager in five easy steps.

Now I get my writing fix here, and honestly, I feel like it’s less pressure and a lot more fun. (Read a book, write a review, introduce it with a story, and share it with the world.) But there are a ton of things in life that didn’t turn out like I expected.

I planned to be married in my 20s, two kids (boys) in my 30s, stay-at-home mom writing a novel or freelancing magazine or newspaper articles, growing old with my husband watching our grandkids from the back porch. Ahhh, the naivete of youth.

My actuality was married at 36, one kid (a girl) at 39, full-time employee (then and now…thank goodness, a job I love), eventually single-income household supporting a husband on disability, widow and single mom at 54 (nothing old about that). Oh…and no back porch—although I’m thinking of adding one onto the back of the house. In the meantime, I’ll be happy with my backyard gazebo.

I guess the point is that life almost never goes how we plan. That’s probably why the experts always say to live in the moment. Obviously, we have to make some plans unless we’re born with a trust fund (I wasn’t), but living in the moment isn’t such a bad idea.

Let this be a reminder to take your moments, especially when life isn’t exactly what you had in mind. I’m going to take this moment to read another book…outside…in the gazebo. And maybe I’ll invite my kid to join me. 😉

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Book Review

⭐
1 Star for Not Exactly What I Had in Mind by Kate Brook

352 pages
Publisher: Dutton
Publication Date: June 28, 2022
I received an advance copy of this title from NetGalley and Dutton in exchange for an honest review.

Publisher’s Description

Hazel and Alfie have just moved in together as roommates. They’ve also just slept together, which was either a catastrophic mistake or the best decision of their lives—they aren’t quite sure yet. Whatever happens, they need to find a way to keep living together without too much drama or awkwardness, since neither of them can afford to move out of the apartment.

Then Hazel’s sister, Emily, and her wife, Daria, come for a visit, and Hazel’s and Alfie’s feelings about each other are pushed to the side in the whirlwind of their arrival. Recently returned from abroad, Emily and Daria are excited for a new life in a new town, and ready to start a family of their own.

As the lives of Hazel, Alfie, Emily, and Daria collide, a complicated chain of events begins to bind them all together, bringing joy and heartache, hope and anxiety, and reshaping their relationships in ways that no one quite predicted. Warm, clever, and devastatingly relatable, Not Exactly What I Had in Mind is by turns funny, heartbreaking, and a painfully true-to-life story about family, friends, and everything in between.

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Main Characters:

• Hazel – 28 years old, a freelance cartoonist with an online Instagram following but doesn’t earn much (if anything) from it, works full-time in a cafe
• Alfie – 30 years old, a primary school teacher, moved into the same apartment as Hazel four months ago
• Emily – Hazel’s older sister, a software engineer, married to Daria, looking for a home to rent and talking about starting a family
• Daria – Emily’s wife, just finished a post-doctorate program in Australia and accepted a teaching position at University of East Anglia in Norwich
• Miles – 29 years old, a photographer Hazel meets on Tinder

     

I feel like the author named her book Not Exactly What I Had in Mind because readers would think “this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.”🤔

Not really, but it definitely is not what I had in mind. I didn’t find it funny OR irresistible like a blurb before the description suggested. It toggled between sounding pretentious to having serious “ewww” factor, almost like the author was trying to balance out the pretentiousness with crudeness thinking it would make her sound less pretentious.

I also wasn’t crazy about all the politics in the story. This is supposed to be funny, romantic, families, and love. I can get behind a political slant if it advances the story. But this book references U.S. elections (Trump vs. Clinton), Brexit, climate change, racism, protests, COVID, vaccines. I read to escape real life, not to have it thrown in my face again and again. If I wanted that in a book, I would be choosing different books.

Examples:

“But, now being a voracious consumer of articles and TED Talks about the moral implication of reproducing in the age of extinction, she eventually found an argument that eased her conscience. This argument stated that since climate change was being driven by corporations and the governments in their thrall, it was neither fair nor realistic to expect individuals to mitigate it, whether through minor lifestyle choices, like recycling, or major ones, like not having children. In fact, encouraging people to forgo having children was a slippery slope that could end in eco-fascism, possibly eco-eugenics. Moreover, it was a distraction from the real problem, which was the plundering of finite natural resources in the pursuit of profit. It was certainly attractive, this idea that one could help fix the mess by opting in to certain behaviors and opting out of others, but ultimately all it did was take the heat off the real culprits.”🧐

“When the coughing fit started he bowed his head and directed it under his T-shirt, his breath moistening the bare skin of his chest. Just as it began to decrescendo, a globule of phlegm shot out of his mouth and landed in the space between his nipples.”🤢🤮 (And this one was mild. The ones with a sexual undertone had even more of a gag factor.)

I’ll outline the nuts and bolts of the storylines before I get into the spoilers below.

Hazel and Alfie share a flat in London with Tony, with Alfie having moved in about four months prior. The book opens with Hazel and Alfie having sex. It’s awkward, and Hazel gets the impression that Alfie is a player because he slept with someone else just the previous weekend. Alfie thinks that Hazel isn’t interested because she continues to look for dates on Tinder. Hazel thinks Alfie isn’t interested because he casually mentions his ex, even though he does it trying to convince Hazel that he’s no longer interested in his ex.

Miles is a photographer who Hazel meets on Tinder, since she “can’t” go out with Alfie.

Emily and Daria have just returned to the UK after two years living in Australia. They show up at the flat one day where they had planned to spend the weekend so Hazel can accompany them to look for a rental house. Hazel isn’t home because she switched shifts with someone, so Alfie chats with them until Hazel returns home and the three of them just click. Emily and Daria also are considering having a child through artificial insemination.

***SPOILERS*** SPOILERS***SPOILERS***

First, I’ll address the Hazel/Alfie/Miles debacle. Because Hazel thinks that Alfie is a player and still hung up on his ex, she starts dating Miles. Despite the fact that he splits everything on their dates 50/50, the sex is “meh,” there’s friction with one of her work friends over his controversial gallery show, and he pushes her to post political cartoons that lose followers, Hazel dates Miles for a very long time…way too long. Why? Because he’s a photographer who might have connections who could help her career, and she thinks she can’t have Alfie.

To put it bluntly, Miles is an ass. When he breaks up with Hazel to go back to his ex who returned from the States, he gets angry because she doesn’t want to talk through it properly. After the breakup, Hazel finally starts posting the funny cartoons that she had been drawing throughout their relationship—about their relationship. Even though she never identifies Miles and the cartoons look nothing like him, he anonymously posts in her Instagram comments videos he took secretly of Hazel in his bed for revenge. And he doesn’t even get his comeuppance.

Now Emily and Daria. Emily is desperate to have a child. Daria is terrified of the trauma that Emily will experience having the child. There’s tension because she won’t tell Emily how she feels, but Emily thinks the tension is because Daria thinks it’s irresponsible to bring a child into a world that may not be here down the road because of climate change. But they’re still pursuing the idea of having a child.

When they find out that Daria’s brother Kamran is volunteering for Doctors Without Borders, there’s suddenly a rush to ask him to be their sperm donor because he’s leaving in two weeks and then the baby would be related to Daria as well. They use a home insemination kit (EWWWWWW), and it doesn’t work. (I mean, I know these exist. I just didn’t need the detailed description.)

Daria’s brother literally exists in this book, I think, for Emily and Daria to ask Alfie to be their donor. When Kamran comes home married, they agree that Alfie would still be their person even if Kamran hadn’t been married. Kamran serves no other purpose in this book. Although I guess his purpose is better than Tony’s, who serves absolutely no purpose at all. I don’t understand why Hazel and Alfie needed a third roommate. He turns up his music when there’s loud sex in the apartment, and he goes out with all of them once on New Year’s Eve. Oh, and Hazel and Alfie save some pastries for him once.

And let’s talk about Alfie. He has a natural chemistry with Emily and Daria, he and Hazel get along, and they all agree that Alfie would be considered Uncle Alfie for a child. But then Alfie and Hazel decide that they shouldn’t pursue their attraction, which they talk about after she and Miles split up, because it would be awkward for Emily and Daria’s child. So let me get this straight. If he’s not with Hazel, he’ll be called Uncle Alfie. If he’s with Hazel, he’ll be called Uncle Alfie. Seriously, make it make sense.

At the end of the book, Alfie and Hazel sleep together one more time, and the next morning, Hazel proposes that they put things on hold for two years because Alfie is going to be Emily and Daria’s donor. After that, they would touch base to see if they still like each other.

The next time we see them together is in the Epilogue, post-pandemic quarantine. Emily and Daria have six-month-old twins, courtesy of Alfie’s “continued contributions.” Hazel is considering going back to school, and Alfie has been helping out more with the twins. He has not yet met anyone whose company he enjoys as much as Hazel’s. The book really ends with them looking forward to a walk the next morning when Alfie takes the train home, but I think we’re just supposed to assume they get together.

There are so many things in this book that made me shake my head, roll my eyes, seriously want to toss my cookies. This was Kate Brook’s debut novel, and for me, there will not be another one.

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